You say I'm dirty minded - but how did you understand what I meant? ;)

Why is Angelina on the Jersey Shore? No one likes her.

Nah, nothing's wrong. LOL JK, I wanna hit you in the face with a f**king shovel.

*LOG OUT*.......bored......*SIGN IN*

Dear Microwave, why is my plate so hot, yet my food so cold?

A friend will bail you out of jail a best friend will be right next to you saying "WHY DIDN'T YOU RUN FASTER!

I accidentally typed ;) instead of :) and now it's awkward.

Por los q tienen sueño y no se duermen x estar hablando cn alguien especial

I said to my girlfriend, ''Do you want to see me pull a really ugly face?'' She laughed and said, ''Go on then''. So I grabbed hers.

When I'm bored, nobody texts me, but when I'm busy, my phone blows up